MAN RULES
Men are not mind readers.
You have enough clothes.
You have too many shoes.
I am in shape. Round is a shape!
Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
Sunday sports, it's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let’s be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
Yes or no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way
You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. NOT BOTH.
And if you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during the adverts.
Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
All men see in only 16 colours like Windows default setting.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
If you ask a question that you don't want an answer to, expect an answer that you don't want to hear.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really.
Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss Such topics as football, rugby or golf.
Yes I realise I’ll be sleeping on the sofa tonight but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
